The Great Stupidity... (or the Day I Bounced off Chris

From Friday, May 05, 2006

So, April 19th only a week after falling twice while roller skating and then once in the shower the next morning (go go gadget muscle lockup!) I managed to do a great feat of acrobatics and quite frankly narrowly missed making myself a paraplegic. 8'o

Chris was supposed to working a website for me that I couldn't finish and he was instead being obnoxious and laying in bed. In my typical sweet JJ, un-aggressive way *cough*, I told him to get out of bed or I was going to jump on him. Keep in mind I've gained weight so this holds more weight (no pun intended) when I make threats such as these now.

Anyway back to the story...he wouldn't get out of bed so I jumped on him...bounced off, landed on the back base of my neck. OUCH! My leg went up and hit the dvd stand next to our bed which had a lamp on it that fell off and bounced off my nose and landed on the same hand I'd now injured no less that three times the previous week. After I got over the shock and remembered to bitch at Chris for moving me right after I landed on my neck...I started laughing and crying at the same time. Chris on the other hand was just laughing his ass off. Bastard! I mean that in a loving way. I can't be mad at him for laughing when I'm doing it too. :D

So I am sitting there, well laying really, on the bed about 10 mins after I was finally able to get off the floor. At this point my leg hurts worse than anything. I checked bend-ability to make sure nothing was broken when I think hmm, call mom and ask for advice. So I did.

My brother has injured himself similarly before only the actual cause was different. She suggested having x-rays done to make sure I hadn't broken my collarbone or something along those lines because those breaks aren't always obvious. So I make Chris, who is still laughing mind you, drive me to the hospital where they look at me incredulously when they find out it wasn't a car accident. Funny stuff.

3.5 hours later I emerge with a post op shoe, torn ligaments in my back and ankle/foot area. Beautiful. We didn't bother to check out my hand. oops.

So a week after this event I go see my regular doctor...bless her soul...and explain what's going on with my hand now...like the horrible, debilitating knife-like pain that sears through my wrist if I hold a coke can, half full. Good lord!

After playing with my hand and arm she thinks it broken. I think she may have thought that because I practically jumped off the table when she touched lower in my arm and my hand at the same time. So she does xrays, doesn't see anything but feels it might still be a small fracture not showing up. I get a lovely half cast to wear for a week and then I'm told to see an orthopedist.

The orthopedist tells me Wednesday that I have a ripped tendon (FUN!) and I get to wear an immobilizing brace on my hand and arm for 4 weeks at least. Nifty. He gives me a shot of cortisone which not only had lidocain and numbed my HAND for 12-15 hours, but did nothing for my arm which hurt like a bitch. The dose of cortisone was so high it made me feel ill when it went to work on my battered muscles and such. Pleasant night. Worse than flying off Chris onto the hard floor actually lol.

So there you have my Charlie Chaplin-ish tale of woe and hilariousness. Typing is interesting to say the least, my foot is annoying me most because walking is essential and it's hard to do. Despite the pain and annoyance I still find it so amusing it's hard to be pissy about it. :*) The most disappointing part is I have to suffer through my b-day like this and a trip to the ren faire and worst of all I can't dance or go roller skating. WAH!