'It' was a kitten of undetermined age, though clearly very young. It's eyes were sealed by goop, it's nose sealed by snot and it could only breathe out of it's mouth. Without a second thought I scooped up the little creature and plopped it gently on my shoulder and headed inside to the computer room near the back of the house.
Chris greeted me. "What is that?"
I muttered. "It's a kitten," quickly followed up with, "I'm going to make it well and then find a home."
Chris obviously didn't believe me as he admonished me. "We're not keeping that. Don't name the kitten, don't fall in love with the kitten."
"Sure," I said. "I just want to make it well. I promise." I handed the little fur ball to Chris and headed back to the store where bottle feeding options, wet food, and Vaseline to clear the goop from his nose were obtained.
I came back to find the kitten on Chris's shoulder and couldn't help the smirk that crossed my lips. During the clean up of the kitten, I discovered it was a he. I fed him and made him as comfortable as possible.
Tired, I went to bed and was awoken a short time later by Chris who shoved the kitten into my face and proclaimed, "Meet Snorkle!"
In my sleepy state I had asked. "What happened to not naming the cat, not falling in love with the cat and not keeping the cat?" Apparently he had changed his mind. Obviously I was totally OK with that.
Snorkle couldn't meow. His voice was either damaged by the illness he had when I found him, or it never developed properly. Instead, he booped. It was the cutest and funniest sound. He would let us know things, with his boop. It was fantastic. He had petite, but incredibly strong paws, and his tail was fabulous and fluffy.
Snorkle had slept in the crook of my knees for a while, but one night Chris stole him and snuggled with him. That started a bond between the two that was very strong. Every night Snorkle would go to bed with Chris and snuggle under the covers with him and made sure to groom him. He purred so loud I could hear him through the thick blanket from over a foot away. During the day he would sleep in my lap when Squeek wasn't there.
If I had cheese he would get a piece and he always escorted us to the refrigerator. He had to inspect it of course because it was his thing. Chris discovered he loved cheese puffs, french fries and popcorn, much to my chagrin, and would feed him french fries any time he had them; all under my looks of disdain. Snorkle loved it and would often help himself to the bags with fries in them if we weren't careful. For quite a few months he would sit on our shoulders until he just didn't fit any more. When he couldn't fit there, he would sit on the desk, or the back of Chris's computer chair much like Snoopy sat on his dog house. It was cute. I called him Snoopy Snorkle when I saw him doing that.
Sometimes he would lay on the floor, in the middle of a pathway, on his back with his back legs spread apart and front paws in the air. It made me laugh. He discovered how the door knob worked and if his paws didn't slip off, he would have been able to turn them! He opened cabinets, got under covers, and generally did as he pleased. If he hit his nose by accident, he would sneeze like crazy. When I fed the cats he would stand on his back legs, front paws up as high as he could get them and he would try to see what I was doing, sometimes tapping me or the counter. He was well behaved enough, but when he was in trouble his daddy had to call him out, he ignored mommy.
The boy was completely obsessed with boxes. Eating, Sleeping, fighting from within. If any new boxes entered the house, no matter how small, Snorkle would try to claim them as his. It was hilarious when the box would be tiny by comparison and he would still do his best to try and fit in one. He was crazy and so funny.
Any time I went to the bathroom he was there with me. Generally he was there to drink from the faucet. If it happened to be my shower time, he would hit me as I was trying to get in to warn me about the water. If I managed to get in before he could warn me, he would sit at the back of the tub and watch with his head inside the shower curtain. He was my little protector.
He came when Chris called "Boy!". Snorkle would follow Chris to the back door and go out exploring the yard while Chris smoked. He was there at the door when we came home and often he would escape outside just to go roll on the driveway or dirt. That was one of his favorite things. He would eat a little grass and come in unless I made him come in sooner.
When Chris came home there would be games; hide and go seek was a favorite of the two. Snorkle would sit in Chris's chair and Chris would go out to the hall and Snorkle would look for him over the top of the chair. Or they would play attack the hand. Chris would slide his hand or a finger over the top, or sides, of the chair and Snorkle would seek and attack. It was really fun to watch and for a cat he was quite good at the games. There was also the scooping up of Snorkle into Chris's arms to have a tickle fight of sorts. Snorkle would growl and kick but they both knew it was for fun.
When I became pregnant, Snorkle was there for me constantly. He would lay on my belly and purr loudly. He would lay with me for hours unless I had to go to the bathroom. Even then however, he followed me around. He sometimes hung out in the crib until we had to block it off completely cause Remy kept trying to eat the sheets.
After the baby came, Snorkle would hang close by but he wasn't sold on the baby. Eventually he started letting me know when something was up and he even started sitting in my lap with the baby there too.
I noticed Snorkle started breathing hard and coughing. Turns out these were asthma style attacks and very serious. When Snorkle was feeling at his worst he hung out, even when Fenris was kicking and ended up kicking him (gently) a couple of times. After a vet visit we gave Snorkle medication and he seemed to improve. A few weeks later he started having to open mouth breathe and I called the vet. We started him on steroids which helped a bit but eventually it started getting bad again.
I took him to the emergency vet the Saturday after Thanksgiving because I just couldn't watch him breathing like that anymore and to me at least, he looked swollen, or just 'off'. They immediately took him and put him on oxygen. That freaked me out but I was told to go home and they would call with news. I called 4 hours later and he had been doing better. When I called back again after another 4 hours he wasn't doing as well.
I was starting to get a bad feeling about the situation. Deep down I was struggling to keep my cool. Fenris was showing signs of being unwell. Handling a sick and crying baby while I was crying inside was difficult to say the least.
The vet did x-rays, and called us back to tell us there was fluid around Snorkle's lungs. That certainly explained why he looked swollen. After more conversations they withdrew some of the fluid and found it was blood tinged. This meant he had cancer or heart failure. I wasn't even able to carry on a conversation at this point, I was wailing. The vet seemed pretty sure it was heart failure. We told her we wanted to bring him home. We knew this was a death sentence and we wanted just a little time to say goodbye. They told us they had to stabilize his breathing which would cost us another $1k on top of the already very pricey bill we had.
It was one of the hardest decisions and I really wanted to spend the money we didn't have. We decided to go ahead and euthanize him because we couldn't afford their fee to stabilize him and we didn't want him to suffer. We took Fenris to my moms while we went to the vet. When we got up there Chris wanted to smoke; I assume he needed that because of the stress and grief. While I was waiting for him I saw a shooting star. It was the first one I had seen since childhood. I couldn't make a wish though it wouldn't have come true.
We went inside and they took us into a room. Shortly thereafter a tech came in with Snorkle and it was very apparent to both of us the tech had been crying. Just knowing someone else cared enough to cry made it harder and better at the same time. I did my best to stop crying to avoid freaking him out.
Snorkle was in a glass aquarium with a lid on it, it's how they had been giving him oxygen. They told us to take as much time as we wanted. After the tech closed the door behind him, I took the lid off and Snorkle immediately responded to my voice as I said hi. Chris and I both pet on him for a while and he even tried to come out of the aquarium to us. I felt horrible having to keep him in there but there was still oxygen and he needed it. When we both noticed he was struggling to breathe again we rang the door bell they had given us and pet him as much as possible before they came in. They brought him up to the table and laid him down. I couldn't help myself, I just kept on loving on him. I even put my head against his and kissed him and told him I loved him. He was purring so strongly. He purred literally until his heart stopped. Even then I just kept loving on him. I really couldn't bring myself to stop. It was so hard, leaving, knowing he would not be coming home with us. He was like Frodo to me. Frodo was another amazing kitty from my childhood... he was special in a different way from all my other kitties. Snorkle was another Frodo and there will be no other kitty exactly like either.
The first feeding without him was the worst. I cried over his empty bowl; having to pick it up to put it away. He wasn't there to stand next to me and head butt my leg to let me know he was there. He didn't come rushing out of the blinds to greet me upon my arrival home. He didn't try to sneak out while I was bringing a bunch of stuff in so he could roll all over the driveway. He didn't wake me up by curling up with me the next morning. And he wasn't there for one of the roughest weeks I've ever endured.
It's been 4 weeks since Snorkle passed. I have felt a huge void in my life since then. I love my baby and husband, and I love my other kitties but none of them could fill the void Snorkle left. It was just different. I still cry thinking about him sometimes. My heart still aches. I will always remember Snorkle for the joy, frustration, laughter and surprise he brought into our lives. He was like a little furry person and far too clever for anyone's good. I miss him and I love him and I know we made him as happy as he made us, and that is what I try to hang on to when I'm sad.
Snorkle, you were the best cat ever. You were great and wonderful, much like Oz, but without the curtain and the booming voice. I will never forget you or the joy and love and laughter you brought. My sweet little boy, you are forever missed.
Posts
0 comments:
Post a Comment