Over the years I have been told by many women that pregnancy was beautiful and lovely and the best times of their lives. Either nothing was off during their pregnancies, or they were completely high on the Epidural and forgot what it was really like. It's not beautiful. It's uncomfortable, annoying, disgusting and tiring. The end results, I have no doubt are the most amazing thing ever. The fact I can grow something inside me like a super power is pretty amazing. Everything else feels like climbing a mountain while running a marathon while dealing with insane nausea and the need to go to the bathroom 20, or more, times a day. Seriously, the toilet paper companies must love pregnant women. Random gas stations, et al, probably do not.
I got the nausea 5 days after conception. (Conception date is according to my doctor.) I had it so bad it was all day every day and after day 6 I thought I had food poisoning so I went to the doc. I was asked if there was possibility that I was pregnant to which I responded "Why yes, there is. A very good chance in fact." Mind you, I didn't think that was the issue at the time. They did some tests, including blood tests and I found out that I was, in fact, pregnant. Having just had a miscarriage 2 months before I was dubious as to how it would go. I went to the OB doc and they confirmed with multiple blood tests. I was actually at the pathology place so much for the first two months, the phlebotomist would wave and greet me like an old friend. Good thing we liked each other!
It's pretty clear to me that this baby hates food. And sleep, but mostly food. It's a challenge for me to eat well on a regular basis because of the Celiac Disease. People are always apologizing about food not working for me when we go out to eat or when they bring nummy doughnuts into work, etc. I'm not trying to guilt people about the issue and I certainly don't need their apologies when I come across something I can't eat. It's no one's fault. I talk about the issue a lot, I am aware of this but it's like an obsession. Why? Because I always have to be aware of what is going into my mouth, onto my body (for cross contamination reasons) and how things are cooked. It's hard to stay quiet about it. However, I digress. I have lost 15 pounds since I became pregnant. Absolutely not complaining because of all the side effects, this is the best one. Aside from not really wanting to eat food, I'm limited, and then on top of that, the meat aversion hit. And then on top of that, the only things that have sounded good were potatoes, fruits and vegetables. This is mostly still the issue even at 15 weeks, but at least I can eat beef now. Moo. Again, I'm not complaining, at least now I'm hungry but it's a constant thing. No weird cravings, no desires to eat a ton, no desires to eat foods I don't normally eat. For that I'm thankful. The sensitivity to gluten has been much worse over all, however, so I have to be especially careful. It's just one of those things life throws at you and you have to learn to hurdle it or run it over and crash which I am pretty good at sometimes. Call it my clumsy nature. I prefer to hurdle, frankly less embarrassment and pain.
Sleep. I have no idea what this is anymore. I am well aware this is going to get worse and continue until many years down the road and I'm ok with that as long as I'm not stupid. I get stupid without sleep though. Forgetting words, things, places, names and probably my clothes if I didn't put them out on a nightly basis before going to bed. It's that moment of, "If my brain wasn't attached I'd forget it.". If you want amusement however, ask me questions while I'm in a certain state and then be prepared for the crazy things that come out of my mouth. Uncensored I'm pretty sure that if I don't offend, people will just laugh.
Gas... Women in general like to pretend this doesn't exist. It does. And when you are pregnant you could, quite honestly, probably propel a small vehicle of some sort with the amount of gas in your body. It's not pleasant but it's a fact of all the hormonal changes wreaking havoc on well, you. All I can say is if a pregnant woman ever burps stupidly loud or perhaps a particular olfactory quality fills the room, be forgiving, she cannot help it.
Honestly, I don't mind having to go to the bathroom 20 times a day. It's the way it happens. I can go hours without needing to go but then suddenly I have to go. Now. And then within a 20 minute time frame, I have to go 3-4 more times. At the very least nature should be kind and spread this out a little. I mean, being in a work environment where you have to pass the same people over and over and who aren't actually aware that you are pregnant yet probably think there is a serious issue going on.
People always have advice for you, especially unsolicited advice. 'I'm pretty sure that it's not ok to put your baby outside in the yard in a swing while you do housework, but thanks for that. I would prefer not to have social services called really.' I am most certainly guilty of this over the years but I have been doing my best in the last few years to not do it. It's annoying and psychologically no one actually appreciates it (Psychology Today). Apparently they take the old saying "It takes a village" way too seriously. It takes a parent or two and some very capable baby sitters probably, but the whole damn village needs to keep their noses to themselves and out of my business. If I want your advice, I'll ask for it, I promise.
Belly touching... stop touching the belly. I love my friends and currently I have no desire to tell them off for this because I know them but it's my belly. Unless you want me touching yours, hands off. The first stranger who tries to pull that had better have good insurance. It's creepy. Seriously.
Crying at everything is interesting. As a rule I'm not fond of crying. I'm not sure who is actually, but it's always been a weakness of showing that kind of emotion in my life (in my eyes in regard to me only). So, the fact that I cry over a commercial or an email but not over hearing the babies heart beat for the first time or the sonogram makes me wonder if hormones are natures way of getting revenge.
From the sounds of it, I probably sound like I hate being pregnant. Nah. I hate the crappy stuff that goes along with it but you know, be careful what you wish for and all that. However, 9 months is a drop in the bucket compared to a lifetime of "fun" right? I have people tell me all the time not to do it. (Kinda late people) Frankly if you are that unhappy with your situation, perhaps it's time to change it. I'm sure someone would love to adopt a 7-10 year old child... somewhere.
I adore when I am in a great mood (which is most of the time) and I'm singing and I can feel the baby react to it. That is rewarding and makes the other crap worth dealing with most of the time.
Cuddling kitties rock, which happens a ton lately. I love when they are laying against my belly and purring. It makes me ecstatically happy and I know this has an affect on the baby too. I can't wait for "it" to develop it's hearing so it too can hear the sound that makes all [my] worries float away.
Amusing anecdotes are awesome. I mean, everyone can use some of those to share. Despite the things that annoy me, I tend to find humor in most things. Maybe too much sometimes, but hell, it keeps me happy so who cares what others think?
I rarely use anything to manipulate the results I get with people but when you really really need to go to the bathroom and there is a line, you can often get in faster by using the pregnancy card. Trust me... it's for everyone's good!
Elevated moods are great. I may be one of the least bitchy pregnant women (thus far anyway). I've always been more warm (temperature wise) than most people so it's nothing new. Due to my Fibromyalgia, I'm used to pain so that's nothing new either though I still complain occasionally, I will admit. But I've been happy, even through the severe lack of sleep. It's awesome.
My nesting has been called unusual by a few. I'm not sure I'm truly nesting yet anyway but I have been writing a book. I needed to do research and so I've acted upon some things I really wanted to do previously which are Archery, learning knife throwing and such. Some people think it's my protective thing kicking in but in reality, I'm just a boy in a girls body and girl emotions. I love this stuff! I've collected swords and daggers for years. I prefer action flicks to sappy romances (but I do watch those too if they are period style) and I love "boys toys" way more than "girls toys". By this I mean I played with cars as a kid more often than dolls or barbies. I climbed trees and skinned everything rather than play dress up. I don't recall having tea parties. It's natural, that when I "grew up" I would continue in this vein. I love archery. I love the idea of shooting guns. I just don't want to hunt. So while I'm researching these things for my characters, I'm doing it for me as well. It just so happens to coincide with the pregnancy.
Nostalgia has hit me harder than usual. I love my friends and I love our old times together and I've been remembering a lot lately. It makes me happy to think of these old times. So if this is strictly a side effect of pregnancy, bring it on!
Overall, I can't wait to have this baby out of me, but I'll take it all in stride. I know that the after affects will be far more rewarding that the building process. They usually are.
Posts
0 comments:
Post a Comment